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The Daily Telegraph’s MARK OGDEN on broken flower pots…being a Happy Monday…and spending £300 on average wine…

Your first ever newspaper?
I did a week of work experience at the Rochdale Observer, writing about broken flower pots and a few rioting Wrexham fans, then started off at the Weekly News and Sunday Post.

Have you ever worked in a profession other than journalism?
I did try to re-launch my failed football career with a few games for Rochdale reserves, but they only paid £5 travelling expenses, so it wasn’t really worth it.

The one thing it made me realise, though, was how hard footballers train and how there is pretty much zero enjoyment in the sport as a profession. You are flogged every morning for two hours on the training ground and then some halfwit manager rants and raves about the odd stray pass.

The next time a player walks past in the mixed zone, just think about the bollocking he might just have had in fr